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Saturday, June 14, 2014

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25 March 2018

Today is the St. Patrick's Day Parade here in Bay Ridge. 3rd Avenue has been prepared for the Parade this afternoon. I wish I knew what time it was going to start.
Anyway I will just watch the people from the window on third floor, I am sure I will get a clue from the activities in the street.
I am so excited. I fell in-love with Ireland after reading my first novel about Dublin and its people. Oh then there was the movie Brave Heart, now who can forget that. Up until today I still see the hills and everything green and beautiful as I saw it in the movies that I've watched so far.maybe its because I can relate to there way of living. That's the working class. i got no idea how the rich live there lives in Ireland.
 I cannot sometimes understand what they are saying. Like when I met two of Lisa's friend in Florida. You have to listen closely to understand them. Still to me all Irish are beautiful.
Yet my friend who have been living in Ireland for more then ten years tells me that the Irish doesn't much like any other nationalities. They stick to their clan. But I found the few that I met, do like and mix with the not Irish.
Its windy and cold but that's not going to put me off from watching the parade outside. I wonder what happened to the poem i have written years ago about Ireland. I remember some of the words, like hills far yonder/ upon waking/my heart belongs to you. Oh I so much wants to go there. One day this is a promise to myself, I will go to Ireland. It might sound silly but somehow I think I belong there.  And for that reason I should at least go hike the hills of Ireland and soak in the wide open spaces.Maybe a distant family member once lived there, who knows, strange things happens.
I've got carried away, well its time for me to go outside and see where the vendors that's walking towards 86st are up too.
One more month here in good old America then its time to go home. This time its going to be much harder to leave my family behind. anyway I'm not going to think about that today. Nope I'm going to go and enjoy the Irish Parade.
My daughter is cleaning away, me I refuse, its Sunday. Pretty Sophia just told her mom, Mom listen, listen, I can speak in Spanish. Sophia love the Spanish, maybe because they are all around her. She should learn the language.She desperately wants her Frozen doll named Elsa to sing in Spanish. I found her listening to it on her Mom's phone in Spanish. Goodness the child is three years old but she knows how to work a phone and gets to YouTube.   

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

In memory of brother

For Andrew

Over and over
Your silly laugh
Echoes in my ears
What was spoken
I cannot hear
Your hazel eyes follow me
My brother dear
To soon
To soon
You were taken
Andrew the silent one
You left and never
Will we see you again
Your name, your picture
My brother
You will remain.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Mourning of her soul


The mourning of her soul
Has just begun
Lost in a wilderness of her own
Craving the waters of life
Yet her body hostile
Her heart beating loudly
Through pain bestow
Hatred frozen through years of grief
Evil has taken control

A head split open
Blood flowing
Screams of unbelief
Eyes questioning violent blows
A mind that already knows
Her soul was dying
The rest was there
To mourn her.

Be Patient

Take my hand and gently lead
The way to your heart
Fill me from head to toe
With your love
Cover me with soft
Smoothing words of love
Be patient my love
Show me how love
And be loved
Take my hand and keep me close
Be patient my love
And love me with all your heart.

Song

A song which rhythm
Only you know
A dance through stages
Of your life
From a distance
I looked
And stayed
While music played.

You

You caused so much pain
Tell me,
What did you gain?
High for all of what
You imagined you could
Conquer the world
Courage you get
From a rush
Energy and much activity
That last for all of what
Until withdrawal symptoms kick in
That's when your family pays the price

Irritable and aggressive you are
Hallucination, paranoia sets in
Depending on whatever drug you took
Your mood swings
You're lying and stealing
Selfish that's what you are
What do you care?
Your habit!
You have to feed
Regardless of our pain
Our shame
The constant worry
The stress
The tears your brothers and sisters shed
Tell me
What did you gain?

Instant gratification
The name of your game
Self control unheard of
Marching to the beat of your cravings
A quick fix
A fellow druggie
You want to remain.

Shall I tell you

Shall I tell you why?
Always when I need you most
You left me
Shall I tell you?
How I long to have you here
Just to know you are near
To share my fear
But you've left me
Oh how I miss you
Mother dear

Shall I tell you?
About the pain
The anger and bitter taste
You left in me
Confused and searching
My way clear
I beg you, come home
Come home
I need you
Mother dear.

What's in your head

What's in your head
You told me
That you need your space
You need to be alone
Just to clear your head
Was what you said

Yet I felt it inside
That what you said
Was not
Was not, what it seems
And long before you told me
I knew
I knew
That you don't
Love me no more

First you moved into another room
And each and every day
I had to look
Into the face
That broke my heart
No no no
I said
This is too much
Then you left
To clear your head
Still it did not end there
In and out of my life
You came
Only too put the blame on me

What's in your head?
The reason
You first said
Was to clear your head
Finally it was because
You love me, no more
Bit by bit
You rip my heart apart
And in your head
I am the one
Who did you wrong?
So I cry no more
I cry no more
What is in your head
What's in your head?





Not me

This is not me
I who once was
How can it be?
I who can it be?

This is not me
I've become
I am
Only my name.

Hope

Hope I have
Faith I had
Confusion how you dare
To take my faith away.

Darkness becomes light

I have been in the depths of despair
I have been surrounded by darkness
Drowning in a pool of endless grief
Naked pain
Sorrow enclosing my very being
Clawing, fighting for survival
That leads to light
Many battles have been fought
To reach to the top
Spiritual guidance showed the way
Slowly I've reached the end
And heaven above enfolds
A kingdom where promises of salvation
Love, trust, and obedience meets
My battle of darkness

I am me

I am bold
I am free
I am happy to be me
I am bold
I am me
Courageous as can be
'cause I know me
Facing demons can't you see?
Yet happy as can be
Bold courageous and happy
As can be

Stellenbosch

Where rivers softly flow
Jacarandas bloom
And church bells ring
That's where I long to be
Streets filled with echoes of yesterday
Acorns and pines remind me of
Leisurely Sunday strolls
Where barefoot, on the Braak
We played
Stellenbosch, where childhood dreams
Has left me
My heart longs to be
Where grapes grow and wine flow
Where trees whisper and squirrels run free
Where generations of students go
Surrounded by historical buildings
Oh Stellenbosch
I carry your beauty
Wherever I go

My Heart

My heart has spoken
A language of love
It's desire to be cherished
By only you
My love

I tremble at a mere mansion
Of your name
Shivers of longing
For your touch
A kiss
By only you
My love

Your picture
I carry
For soon we shall marry
Intense heat flowing
Melting two hearts
For one has spoken
A language of true love
Where bodies unite
Into fragile night.

Hobo

Hobo

Don't look past me
Don't walk around me
I am here
Don't ignore me
I see your fear
I am here
See me, feel how bleak it can be
Miserable I should be
I come from darkness
Live through hardship
Still, I am here

Oh its so very cold out here
How long shall I wait
For someone to see me!
Don't look away
Don't walk around me
I am here
If only someone will see me.


Women

Women

For the woman in you
Refuse to be beaten
Refuse to be a victim
Talk about the pain
Do not let the suffering be in vain
Break the bondage
Make it clear
Take control
It's your life
Fight the good fight
Use your weapons of love
And take back your pride
Your dignity
Let faith set you free

Dream your dreams
Stay hoping and believe
Be bold, and courage's
You got the power within you
Go forward
Tell your story
Of victory and glory
For the beautiful woman in you.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Poem about Death

Death, do not find me here

Death, do not find me here
Portraying sadness
Drifting into bleak landscapes
In the heat of summer
Remove your cloak
Of winter
Oh death
Do not
Do not
Frequent the weary

Do not find me here
For I am
The essence of sun
I captivate
The moon
Dance naked under
The stars
I am the
Op-poser of darkness
I am light

Oh death
Frozen in regret
I voiced
My fear
Of,dying here.